Risky Biscuits
Be careful next time you have a cup of tea and a biccie, according to a recent survey 50% of British people have been injured in a biscuit-related accident at one time or other. These range from burning their fingers trying to retrieve soggy bits of Digestive fallen into a mug of hot tea, dropping biscuit tins on their feet, to somehow poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit. The severity of that last one probably depends on what sort of biscuit it was, a Garibaldi has some sharp edges which could be nasty while a Jammie Dodger would probably only cause mild bruising at worst.
Surprisingly, the most lethal biscuit of them all is the innocent-looking Custard Cream which tops the danger chart with a "Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation" score of 5.63. Personally I always thought there was something sinister about Happy Faces and I've never entirely trusted Fig Rolls which are really little cakes deviously pretending to be biscuits for some shifty reason.
Download: Accidents Will Happen (live) - Elvis Costello & The Attractions (mp3)
8 Comments:
Brilliant website. Thanks for the link.
geo
You could definitely have someone's eye out with a chocolate finger.
This is the best thing I've read all day. Who knew there were so many people trying to jam cookies into their eyes?
I'm not surprised that Custard Creams are the most dangerous. There's just something a bit dodgy about them.
I probably should have known that there is such a thing as the "Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation." I'm going to have to be so much more careful now.
I'm not getting involved in the fig roll, biscuit or cake debate, it can get far too heated.
I discovered access to Jammie Dodgers recently - being sold in a foods of all nations store in Charlottesville VA (amongst many other things British) for example even Fry's Turkish Delights.
Bourbon Creams are evil bastards.
Just because they are a coat of chocolate short of being a Penguin, they always try and choke you by sticking in your throat
Post a Comment
<< Home