Nuts to Brazil
I wonder if I’m the only one — apart from Dutch fans — who was happy to see Brazil get dumped out of the World Cup last week because, frankly, I can’t stand them.
My animosity started during the 1998 World Cup when the American television commentators would cream their pants over them and couldn’t let a sentence go by without some drooling reference to “samba football” and “the beautiful game” whenever one of them did some poncy step-over as if no other team had skillful players or played good football and I resented the implication that to be against Brazil (by wanting France to win that final for instance) was to be against life itself.
They’re often called “everyone’s second-favourite team” when what they really are is the Manchester United of international football, treated like Gods who have a divine right to win everything and supported by people who haven’t been within 1,000 miles of Rio in their lives just because they win a lot and it’s “cool” to like them. We all hate those kids wearing United shirts who aren’t from Manchester and you see just as many non-Brazilians wearing their yellow shirts too — glory hunters the lot of them who all true football supporters should want to punch in the face. It’s easy to support Brazil, any idiot can do it (and they often do) or make them their “second favourite” team, but it takes real commitment to cheer for a team that lets you down more often than not (eg: Spain and Holland) and keep coming back for more, and you probably have to be mentally deranged to keep believing in England.
Admitedly most of that isn’t the fault of the Brazilian players themselves but they do also have those childish one-name nicknames — Ronaldinho, Juninho, Kaka (snigger), Dunga — which I find ridiculous and reason enough not to like them. Imagine if the England team came out with Lamps, JT, Crouchey, and Stevie G on the back of their shirts, you’d piss yourself laughing at them, wouldn’t you?
So yes, I’m a joyless bastard who hates Brazil. I also hate puppies, small children, cakes, and nice sunsets.
Download: Mas Que Nada – Tamba Trio (mp3)
The British commentators are as bad. The first goal against Chile had Clive Tyldesley spluttering “Brazil score a Britsh goal!”
And all because it was scored by a central defender with a header from a corner, as if the samba boys would never normally dream of such a thing.
Well holy crap. you’ve summed up my extreme dislike of Brazil in a way I never ever could. I’m sharing this with everyone I know…LOL
Nice one grumpy dad.
I suspect it chiefly stems from 1970 when they really were special. Unsuprisingly, they’ve been nothing like it since. More wet hankies than wet gussets.
Interesting that the beautiful game reached it’s ugly peak during this World Cup with the skinhead moonstomp on Robben by Melo.
I also wish the TV Directors would zoom in on the crowd at some woggle-eyed 20 stone munter from the slums of Maranhao.
“…supported by people who haven’t been within 1,000 miles of Rio in their lives just because they win a lot and it’s “cool” to like them.”
I’ve got to agree. I remember a doc about Maradonna few years back where he dissed Man Utd supporters and said that you should support the team where you’re from. Sadly for me, I was born in Middlesbrough and have stuck by them through thin and thin (there never was much thick, unless you count Steve McClaren and Gareth Southgate, neither for the right reasons). I always felt sorry for the Brazilians who turned up there in the mid-90s, they must have wondered what was going on. I seem to recall Emerson was mostly not there and back in Rio and when he was there, he wasn’t really putting his all into it.
I also had Man U as a client a few years back – took great pleasure in telling the client that I wasn’t a Man U supporter, even though I lived in London.
well said mate! the platitudes heaped on any Brazil team in the last 3 or 4 world cups is vomit inducing, not only are they the Man Utd of the World Cup they also remind me of (prior to his being ‘caught with his pants down’) Tiger Woods whose every shot was heralded by US commentators as if by God himself.
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