It’s my Mum’s birthday today so I thought I’d dip into her record collection again (though “collection” is probably too big a word for the scratched-up pile of 45s she kept in the sideboard and cleaned by wiping them on her dressing gown before she played them). But what have we here? Not sophisticated adult pop from the 60s, nor a maudlin 70s singer-songwriter, but… Status Quo???? Yes, my mother bought a 45 of “Mystery Song” by Status Quo.

I’ve no idea why she bought this, probably for the simple reason she liked it, though I never she was a secret headbanger. I never knew why it was called ‘Mystery Song” either but doing some research for this post I was shocked – shocked! – to discover it’s about a boy having sex with a prostitute. Whatever would Mary Whitehouse have said if she’d known? I guess that’s why it was a mystery.

Americans might not be too familiar with The Quo but they’re something of a denim-wearing British rock institution, sort of like Kiss but without the silly costumes and long tongues. They had so many hits with their repetitive brand of heads-down, no-nonsense mindless boogie they even inspired a parody record of that name.

This was a hit in 1976 and it’s easy to mock Quo for the lumpen simplicity of their records but this is an enjoyable chunky slice of hard rock, the swirly guitar at the start is even quite sophisticated for them. I’ll admit to once doing some serious headbanging to the “12 Gold Bars” album at a house party I went to when I was at school – in a very mocking, ironic way of course.

Download: Mystery Song – Status Quo (mp3)

For those afflicted with a trainspottery love of music the first album you buy yourself is a rite of passage akin to losing your virginity. You remember who, what, where, and how much it cost (that last part may or may not apply to how you lost your virginity). In my case it was Queen’s “Sheer Heart Attack” at the Beggars Banquet record store in Fulham and it cost me the princely sum of £2.10.

I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure Queen are still about as unfashionable as high-waisted trousers and unlike some other pompy 70s rock bands (coughELOcough) haven’t gained even a modicum of retrospective hipness. They were probably just too excessive and bombastic and recorded ludicrous things like “We Will Rock You” which was the sort of rock music they’d have played at a Nuremberg Rally. I hate the concept of a “guilty pleasure” so I don’t feel the slightest bit bad about admitting that I quite liked some of their records. I still like some of them a lot, in fact. “Sheer Heart Attack” was their third album and is probably the first one where they became Queen with all the camp theatricality and stylistic dilletantism we either loved or hated them for. It’s funny how while the rest of the band expanded their horizons both musically and sartorially, good ol’ Brian May never stopped looking and playing like an early 70s heavy rock dude.

“Tenement Funster” doesn’t sound much like a Queen record at all, probably because it’s written and sung by drummer Roger Taylor and like a lot of his songs (“I’m In Love With My Car” being the most famous) has more of a gnarly tone and is quite atmospheric and edgy sounding with some very Mick Ronson-ish spacey guitar. Apparently this is a tribute to Marc Bolan (he was still alive then by the way) and has lots of glam Bolan-y imagery like purple shoes and open cars going at the speed of light. For far more than you ever wanted to know about this track, go here. Who knew it’s signals were heavily flanged!

Download: Tenement Funster – Queen
Buy: “Sheer Heart Attack” (album)